today i ate a giant pickle* and decided that it was going to be a good day.
then i looked in the mirror and was appalled at how large my breasts are.
now it's just a normal day.

read a write up on variety for a documentary about william s. burroughs that i immediately decided i have to see.

found this website but, after intial excitement wore off and i began clicking through past entries i decided i didn't really care about it as much as i thought i did. because i think i could handle coming up with those kinds of things just on my own.

read this quote: "I might just be way too boring to ever be a really great actress."
– Jessica Biel , to Vogue
which actually made me like jessica biel for a second. because i hate her.

*

other than that i just want these sunglasses on my face and i'm not exactly sure who's they are

payday!

my ten minute drive to work today took about 50 minutes.
it will never cease to amaze me the way people act when snow starts to fall from the sky--did you know that there are no rules (in these instances)?
even just an inch of (unscheduled) snow, in january, will cause people to roll down van cleef like i don't even know what. something very slow. like a glowing, rolling snake curving around the bends of that whole mile, which can only be seen aerially.

i also forgot my wallet this morning. i hate hate hate driving without a license. i suppose i would do really well living under a futuristic regime where you need to carry ID around all the time so authorities can keep track of you and people know you aren't a clone or robot. i just always think of what my dad said to me (that one time we were coming back from court in hillsborough), "well at least we know you're really a perry. if we didn't have bad luck, we'd have none at all." in other words i hate it because i know if anyone is going to get caught it's going to be me.

jd salinger died (91!) which is kind of overshadowed in my mind by the fact that howard zinn also died. it's kind of like, i already know that i read catcher in the rye and loved it but, i never gave a people's history the chance it deserved or that i think i could give it now. and by now i mean when i get it from my parent's house and start reading it again.

speaking of reading, i spent part of my internet adventures today reading
THIS at your (alej's) unintentional prompting. he's reading the foutainhead, i took the short cut so i could try to put his text into some context in my brain.

i read THIS today which made me want to bite my tongue about having previously said (yesterday?) that i don't put any time/effort into new music. i really think that i might want to purchase this. or at least somehow acquire it off the 'net. i remember sitting and filling out that demographic form at the joanna newsom concert at bamf and it was the first time i realized how shitty my life looked on paper. now i have the paper part figured out and the rest of it is probably suffering for that; but that's a whole other story.

More things, in brief (i did not give myself enough time to write out everything i could/would have today):

MUPPETS!

sonia rykiel

The first thing that really caught my eye on the internet today was this blurb:

Larry the Traveling Guy: As a part of its new strategy to appeal to real America, the History Channel has signed up Larry the Cable Guy for a new show. The United States of Larry will use the travelogue format as Larry travels the U.S. hunting for "folks with interesting jobs, hobbies and ways of life."

As if I weren't already completely done with the History Channel. I don't understand why so many cable stations are finding it necessary to move so completely away from the things that defined them, and gave them an audience, in the first place. AMC is no longer "American Movie Classics." I was listening to an interview with some actor or someone and they were re-iterating the fact that AMC doesn't even stand for anything anymore. AMC are nonsense letters.

Like AMC the History Channel's name is essentially nonsense. Anytime I want to see something resembling a history program I flip to the History International channel. Maybe if I wanted to see the guy from Full Metal Jacket ride a horse and fire a gun I'd throw on the History Channel. But I don't. As the channel guide gets longer it seems like everything becomes more the same. Shouldn't that be the exact opposite of what happens?

I just read an interview with Charlotte Gainsbourg from Opening Ceremony. It makes me want to hear her new record, even though I probably won't because I don't actively search out/listen to new music.

OC: What do you listen to when you wake up or start your day?
CG: I generally wake up with a song already in my head. Not always of good taste and very hard to get rid of!

I can't wait for the day I go to my Netflix queue and it tells me that Antichrist is "now available". (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0870984/)
While on the topic of Opening Ceremony, also really pumped to see this: http://www.openingceremony.us/entry.asp?pid=485 while perusing this AM.

I spent the bulk of "lunch time" looking through the 2010 couture shows on style.com. I ended up reading a synopsis of a review poo poohing on Dior and it's lack of 2010, which turned into me reading at least 3 articles about Gibson girls, and Charles James.

I also spent some time poking around here: http://home.frognet.net/~mcfadden/evu/Ellen_von_Unwerth.htm
But not very much as I don't like the way the links are "organized" and I didn't have the patience to either sort, or look, through them all.

Other than that I'm obsessed with Candy's Room and I've heard Bruce belting it in my head all day. I love getting songs stuck in my brain without even having listened to them.

slytherin and ish.

also,
first foray into fondant, kind of psyched:

i will probably never see the blindside
but,
best dressed (shitty picture) fer surely:

the longest half hour of my life

LITERALLY hump day.

I need to start carrying a notebook around with me again. I had an idea during my meeting this morning for something to write about later and now all that's left is the faint imprint of where something once stewed.
All that aside, it's finally clear to me why the universe (and marketers) feel it is necessary to inundate me with Proactiv commercials.
No- it is not because I am currently suffering from "pizza face-itus," or anything so similarly affecting. It's because I need to get my butt in motion.
It occured to me that nothing's going to just happen. At least, I shouldn't just EXPECT that things are just going to happen. It's time to be Proactiv about change. It's time (I hope) to throw myself into motion so that gravity can take hold and help me do the rest.
The weather keeps teasing me with it's lighter 5 o'clocks and warmer 1 o'clocks. I find myself having to remind myself that it's only January. I mention this because walking around in the woods, in the dark, is not something that I feel safe doing. Were it two or three months from now though, I could walk when I got home from work, no problem, and I think my legs and my butt and my lungs and my heart would like me better for it. In being Proactiv I would like to get on the "good side" of my body again.
My writing desk is a pig sty, which isn't that hard to achieve seeing as it's quite tiny (which I like). What I need to do is organize it. What I want to do is hang some sort of board (for instance, but not exclusively, a bulletin board) above it so that I can brainstorm. I figure if I can write here everyday I can write at home everyday. Maybe just a sentence. Maybe it doesn't have to even be "write everyday." I feel like, in Proactiv land, write can be interchanged with read or paint or draw or cut (like out of magazines, not my skin).
I wouldn't mind extending my Proactiv mind-set else where. Perhaps I could get better at managing money? Or doing laundry? Or picking up my phone to call the people I can't/don't get to see and care about?
I'm not trying to make any promises, really, I'm just trying to put some wheels in motion. Hopefully this helps.

Plenty hi
I drink to you


I wonder if this can count for tomorrow (today)...

first and foremost, olsen moments:

alexander mcqueen, i really feel like saying "nuff said" is enough. although, i would like to point out, on a styling note, my recent admission that i do not get black lipstick. i still don't get it but here i'm actually kind of digging it (ashley can do no wrong? hypocrocy's in?)



although this isn't my favorite erdem dress i love the color and just the fact that she's wearing it. fall 09 i basically saved the entire erdem show to my favs lookbook so sorry if it seems like i'm just playing favorites (because i most likely am). i wish i hadn't just used the word favorite, or variations of it, so many times. the shoes look like the ones big proposes to carrie with.


the only part of my outfit i like today are my tights
(exhibit a:
)
if you look closely you can see the cut i got from slamming my shin into the corner of my bed frame this morning.

i made tacos with shredded beef last night and i rule the enitre world. i should probably start remembering to take pictures of the food i make because if nothing else i can always make my brother jealous.

and finally, because i miss things like beach mondays and longo is going to be on a plane in 5 minutes to go see YOU, here you are on my desk everyday:

tommy h shorts, clearly. maybe the best part of my entire outfit today is the fact that hanging in my closet at home is a button down shirt COVERED with the same print as my current shorts. get me a pair of deck shoes and i'm fucking set.

january's going by pretty fast. whatever.
not entirely sure how my mission to improve my posture is going but i have ruined my nails all over again. (pros and cons).

tface's 25th birthday is sunday. i think it's a big deal but i can't seem to come up with any really great big ideas to get this point across to him. it doesn't help that he's been wearing his birthday present for the past three weeks.

hibachi dinner last night soaked in warm saki and seen partially through the kind of smokey gaze that doesn't come from turning onions into volcanos.

got a giant paper latern orb for the living room. it's so much brighter which makes things like reading less horrible for my eyes. next thing to do (now that the christmas tree is gone) would appear to be to re-organize my typewriter desk so i can do work. fingers crossed.

reading alice in wonderland. thinking i need to move to non-fiction next.

currently drooling over marion cotillard in dior at the golden globes.

for: jep
Monday, January 11, 2010

i have this weird thing
i dont know why it happens.
sometimes when i go to bed,
bundled, still cold,
i hear faint yelling,
"alex!"

i dont know how to explain it,
i dont know that there is an explaination.
it messes me up,
and causes me not to sleep,
at least not right away.

Posted by alej at 1:34 AM


1 comments:
For Alej said...

it's me!
i think your name so hard
you can't help but hear it,
even on your coast.

i don't mean to keep you up
bundled as you are,
force of habit i guess.

anyway it's just our tin can telephone
with synapses for strings,
stretching from here to there.

January 15, 2010 1:49 PM

i just want to exercise my brain and my butt.

it's been so long since i've worn heels
that
my feet are fighting back with every step i take. every move i make.



*the other day i decided i have to write someting (ANYTHING) at least once a day. my ode to black suede shoes is just enough to qualify. actually one word would be just enough to qualify. i'll keep that in mind for a day i'm feeling particularly lazy dejected and/or jaded.

1/11, 1/13

MON:


WED:




baby boys' (1/2 you) birthday month
and trying to get to sleep on time
coughing and planning
trying to save my moolah (responsibility?)
wanting to buy everything i see

red lips
black hips.

mmmmmm

alexander wang for my face: